Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 23, 2025

d66 Horrible Holiday Helpers

The flip-side to your game's Santa Claus/Winter Demiurge/Hogfather proxy.

If you like this, you may also enjoy A Short Bestiary of "The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus" by L. Frank Baum.

Make sure to scroll down for 20 minor magical holiday gifts.


Every horrible holiday helper has a switch of twigs and a large vessel on their back.

HD 4 AC as chain Twig Switch 1d6

Move As human Int clever Morale high

Wants gleefully punish the naughty, grudgingly help the good

Naughty or Nice: A helper has advantage on all attacks and checks against evil targets, and disadvantage on all attacks and checks against good targets.

Steal Away: The helper makes an attack with their free hand. The helper can make an attack with their switch and steal away in the same round.

If the helper hits, they deal no damage, but the target is grabbed. If they win a grapple next round, they'll shove anyone grabbed into the vessel.

Anyone in the vessel takes d6 non-lethal damage at the start of their turn. They can attempt a grapple to escape.


General appearance

  1. Hairy, hoofed, and horned, with a long, lashing tongue. Capers and leaps.
  2. White-haired old man in musty, dark furs. Not clear if he's smiling or just showing you his teeth.
  3. Bent but spry old woman with bells or onions tied to her robes. Might have an iron nose.
  4. Gnarled, furry form with an apish face which possesses unnatural strength for its size. Stares.
  5. Old clothes stuffed with straw and twigs, and a wooden mask for a face. Mute.
  6. Hulking young man with stringy hair and an air of troll about him. Might have a tufted swishing tail.

Their switch is

  1. Full of soot - a struck target must save or be blinded for a round.
  2. Extremely long - reach as a whip.
  3. Actually iron chains - d12 damage.
  4. Able to be ridden like a broomstick - the helper gains a fast fly speed, but it takes them an action to mount or dismount.
  5. Actually a flogging whip - a struck target must save or be stunned in pain for a round.
  6. Embellished - There's a magical toy dangling from the grip. The helper might use it, or it might be claimed.

Their vessel is

  1. A leather sack - There's treats in here? Anyone who escapes does so with a magical gift.
  2. An iron cage - Add armor as shield to the helper, and attempts to escape have disadvantage.
  3. A wooden coffin - Add armor as shield to the helper, the inside is dark, and nobody else can see or target them.
  4. A huge wicker basket - It can hold up to three victims.
  5. An iron cauldron - stuffed with narcotic herbs and old bones. Non-lethal damage increases to d12 per round.
  6. A helper's helper - miniature version of the helper riding on their shoulders. Mimics their actions but can't speak. Might hop off to spy or run errands. Stats as a goblin except when maintaining a grapple.

Someone captured in the vessel will be

  1. Dumped out and scolded when the helper is not under threat.
  2. Left to wake up in an embarrassing state in a very public place the next morning.
  3. Carried off to the wilderness but returned unharmed at the start of the next year.
  4. Carried off to the wilderness and abandoned without their gear.
  5. Carried off to the wilderness to be eaten sometime in the next week.
  6. Pulled out and devoured as soon as the helper is not under threat.

Surprise! This helper...

  1. Can fold and flatten to slip through cracks under doors or down chimneys.
  2. Can mimic voices and animal sounds - Save to discern the trick.
  3. Has terrible claws - It deals 1d4 damage when stealing away.
  4. Is voracious - A missed steal away attack still grabs d4 rations, which are immediately devoured.
  5. Can roar or shriek - Creatures in a 20' radius must save or be deafened. Might call other helpers.
  6. Has a sickle - Can eviscerate the unconscious for 3d6 damage.

For the Nice, this helper might

  1. Throw big handfuls of candy and nuts.
  2. Clean the house or barn.
  3. Offer a magical gift.
  4. Bring good luck for a year.
  5. Point the way to a lost buried treasure.
  6. Pay a visit to someone naughty they name.

Bonus: Horrible Holiday Helper's Magical Gifts

  1. Wooden toy sword. It can turn into a real sword or back with a command.
  2. Silver star ornament. It can be used once to cast detect evil, turning tarnished and cracked if detected.
  3. Pine cone tied in ribbons. Or maybe intestines? If planted, it will grow to a 5' wide and 10' tall tree in 1 minute.
  4. Cuddly stuffed bear. Grants +1 to saving throws made while asleep.
  5. Brand new pair of socks that stay brand new. An infuriatingly practical gift.
  6. Evergreen bough brooch. Smells lovely. Re-roll a failed stealth check in the woods once per night.
  7. Glass globe ornament, full of ever-swirling snow. If shattered it forms an obscuring cloud until it blows away or melts. Quite pretty until then.
  8. Icicle that doesn't melt. The best drink-stirrer you'll ever own.
  9. Painted toy soldier. Can be used once to cast disguise self, but only as a soldier or guard.
  10. Miniature book of yuletide folk songs. Surprisingly saucy. Can cast vicious mockery once per day.
  11. Spinning hand drum. Can be set on its end to spin by itself indefinitely, providing a steady back-beat, or distraction.
  12. Tiny tin horn. Shrill and irritating tone will wake deep sleepers, including those under magical sleep as if they were being shaken.
  13. Mechanical wren. Wind it up and it hops and bobs and pecks about. Can be offered as a sacrificial material component for any spell up to 3rd level.
  14. Shiny paper cracker. Ask a question and pull it open with a pop. Inside are some candies, a paper hat, and a fortune which answers the question per augury.
  15. Brass collar bell. Beautifully polished, rings rich and resonant. Gift it to a domestic animal for advantage on animal handling checks with it.
  16. Wooden toy horse. Gain an extra inventory slot while you carry this in your pocket.
  17. Porcelain doll. Well crafted but off-putting. Can be used to cast message, but it's passed through the doll, who has very strong opinions on naughty and nice.
  18. Soft undyed woolen scarf. It can be unraveled (once) into a whole living lamb, which takes 1 minute. Congratulations, you now have a lamb.
  19. Braid of living mistletoe. Never wilts or drops berries. Suitable as a druidic focus, and also works as a shield when used this way.
  20. Fragrant candle. Pine and spices. If lit as an additional material component for a protection from evil or similar warding spell up to 3rd level, the spell will last as long as the candle burns (up to an hour).

Friday, December 23, 2022

A Short Bestiary of "The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus"

"The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus" by L. Frank Baum is an adventure I read every year these days, and I was struck by how well some of the descriptions of immortals and their foes would translate to an old-school RPG. So here they are. It's public domain, so read it yourself and write your own monster stats if you disagree, Merry Christmas.

As always, images from the original 1920's book when available, and Rankin & Bass when not. 

Not included, though interesting, are the Water Sprites, Sleep Fays, Sound Imps, Wind Demons, and Light Elves.

Ryls

 

HD 1 AC none Thorns 1
Move
Normal Int Low Morale Normal
Wants
protect plants, destroy ravagers

Little first cousins to the nymphs, who watch over flowers and plants. They are merry and light-hearted, loving laughter. Their king lives in a distant meadow of gay flowers and luscious fruits.

Each attends a particular type of flower and takes its color for its name and simple garb. (The Yellow Ryl tends the buttercups, for example.)

Gifts: Can bring food, and paint the color of their plant.

Fairies

HD 2 AC as chain (flitting) Golden Wand deflect
Move
Fast, flight Int High Morale High
Wants protect mankind, destroy tempters

Dressed in white gauze with rainbow-hued wings and golden wands. They are usually invisible and unknown to mortals. They honor a great queen who protects a magical pool which grants beauty to those who bathe in it.

Golden Wand: Each turn, a fairy can reduce the damage from one attack by 2d4. The attacker takes the same amount as the damage flows back to them (but no more than the attack could have caused). Multiple fairies working together can turn back dragon breath. 

Gifts: Can bring cloth and tools. 

Knooks

 

HD 3+1 AC as leather (gnarled) Spear 1d6
Move
Normal Int Normal Morale Brave
Wants
protect beasts, destroy monstrosities

Old and worn and crooked, anxious and rough, gray beards and scowling brows. They love courage, and are gruff but friendly. Knooks are known by names like "Will" and "Peter". Their great king lives in a distant jungle.

Each band are particular to one woods, but they share a secret language of whistles by which friendship is known. They can teleport creatures between their woods if all parties are willing and friendly.

Stinging Gnats: Once per day a knook can set a swarm of stinging gnats against a foe or recalcitrant beast. The target is blinded and slowed and cannot concentrate. Any area damage destroys the gnats, but damages the target as well. Submersion or strong winds may help.

Gifts: Gather and work (dead) wood and leather from animals that died of old age.

Nymphs

HD 4 AC as chain (wooden flesh) Ash Switch transmute
Move Normal Int Normal Morale High
Wants protect trees, destroy defiers

Tree colored, slender, dressed in oak-leaf green and sandals. They are curious and proud.

Cause Fear: In defense of forests and trees, a nymph can cause 2d4 HD of creatures that can see her to save or flee in fear.

Ash Switch: A creature struck by a nymph's ash switch has its speed reduced by a category. Anything rendered immobile by this effect is transmuted into a clod of dirt.

Gifts: A nymph can seal a dwelling against unwanted incursions.

Awgwas

 

HD 6 AC as chain (huge, tough) Stone d10
Move Slow Int Average Morale Proud
Wants tempt mortals to mischief, become king

They were of gigantic stature and had coarse, scowling countenances which showed plainly their hatred of all mankind. They possessed no consciences whatever and delighted only in evil deeds.

Their homes were in rocky, mountainous places, from whence they sallied forth to accomplish their wicked purposes.

The one of their number that could think of the most horrible deed for them to do was always elected the King Awgwa, and all the race obeyed his orders.

Limited Invisibility: Invisible to mortals, but not immortals.

Tempt Mortals: Whisper in a mortal's ear to give them advantage on their next check or attack to a petty, cruel, or quarrelsome action.

Bat-Winged Demons from Patalonia

HD 3 AC as leather (flapping) Immiserate d6 morale
Move Normal flight Int Average Morale High
Wants flap through the air spreading misery

Three-Eyed Giants of Tatary

HD 8 AC as plate (gigantic, thick walls of flesh) Slam x3 d8
Move Slow Int Average Morale Brave
Wants fight!

Goozzle-Goblins

HD 1 AC none Sword-Talons d6
Move Normal Int Average Morale High
Wants flay flesh from bones

Wherever a goozle-goblin dies, a thistle will grow.