Books Completed June 2022

I keep writing these almost a month late. Not a great pattern!

Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift - Everything that's social commentary here has already been written. I'll just say that the tone holds up even if the specific targets have faded. But if you've ever read a published RPG module or supplement, it's hard to imagine how this hasn't influenced it. The Atlas of The Planet of Hats!

It's worth calling out the misogyny is troweled on so heavy none of the discussions I've read are sure if it's the author's own prejudices bleeding through or part of the satire. I didn't find similar discussions around the assumptions that every society encountered would be broken into labors and "betters", but, again, that's Swift?

Let's take some gameables from each book.

• Give your players a coloring book conflict. Make them the biggest players on the stage. Let them think their actions are unaccountable.
• Make your players weak and unaccountable, physically. Let them try to play factions against each other. Introduce a medium between the two scales.
• Flying island. Math worship. There's not a lot here that isn't just a shitty 1E module, other than that the clothes made by math are bad and that immortality destroys in kind.
• Infectious philosophy. Your "race" is a degenerate servant here.

The Mammoth Book of Terror edited by Stephen Jones - I was going to throw this into a purge box, but noticed one of the authors was Manly Wade Wellman, an author I have been interested in recently. Flipping the pages, I realized this is a book that had a whole bunch of stories I vaguely remembered reading through the years but had given up hope of discovering the source. No idea where I got this thick old volume to start with, but let's try to consider each story. I'm going to pull the list from this Goodreads review because, well, this is enough to type already. 

(Hate the cover of this edition btw.)

• "The Yougoslaves" by Robert Bloch: Wouldn't have been so creepily racist if the author hadn't acknowledged it was a self-insert in the intro. 
• "The Last Illusion" by Clive Barker: The novelette that apparently inspired the Lord Of Illusions movie, but branches off from it wildly after the first paragraph other than the characters' names.
• "The House of the Temple" by Brian Lumley: I love the idea behind this and want to steal cosmic horror parasites as a lower-level encounter.
• "Murgunstrumm" by Hugh Cave: Pulpy as fuck.
• "The Late Shift" by Dennis Etchison: Cyberpunk as fuck.
• "Firstborn" by David Campton: Ehhh, no.
• "Amber Print" by Basil Copper: Makes a little more sense now that I've seen The Cabinet, but not my favoite.
• "Crystal" by Charles L. Grant: I couldn't follow what this was trying to do, but a lot of Londoners died.
• "The Horse Lord" by Lisa Tuttle: THIS IS LEGITIMATELY ONE OF THE SCARIEST STORIES I HAVE READ. I was so glad to rediscover it here. If I ever edited a collection of horror, wow, I would feature this. I need to find more by Tuttle, I adore this story.
• "Bunny Didn't Tell Us" by David J. Schow: Good for the mud imagery, not much else.
• "Out of Copyright" by Ramsey Campbell: Weird revenge fantasy from a fiction author against the concept of EDITORS.
• "Pig's Dinner" by Graham Masterton: Gore. I was already off pork before I read this but, it'd help.
• "The Jumpity-Jim" by R. Chetwynd Hayes: Steal this for a simple D&D module: Demonic entity can be summoned by non-magical but very specific circumstances.
• "Junk" by Stephen Laws: What. At least the guy liked his dog.
• "The Satyr's Head" by David Riley: Basic cursed item story, but wet London. 
• "Buckets" by F. Paul Wilson: I thought I imagined this story, but someone wrote it. 
• "The Black Drama" by Manly Wade Wellman: Worth saving the volume from the trash. This is a weird bit, but it stood out to me as the first time I remember any character in a 30s/40s story wearing anything but a suit or dress. The guy puts on jeans and "canvas sneakers" while he's changing in the boathouse! A fun story in any way even if you can see what's happening a mile away. Good job, Manly Wade Wellman (what a name).
• "The River of Night's Dreaming" by Karl Edward Wagner: Invokes a fever dream well, but not sure what's going on here. Wet.

The Great Outdoor Fight by Chris Onstad - Achewood is brain tape for me, but it's fun to revisit the classics. I'd forgotten this volume includes (terrible) old recipes.

The Walking Dead Vol.10-22 by Robert Kirkman and friends - Flowed over from last month. Mostly an excuse to lie on the floor while my back healed up (much better now, thanks), but still interesting to compare to the memories of the show. By the end of this run I hated all the characters so good job.

Books Completed May 2022

Between yard work, work work, Rogue Legacy 2 coming out of early access, and messing up my back, I didn't get a ton of reading done this month. The fact that I'm posting this late in June doesn't bode too well for the June post either, but we'll see.

On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers - I don't remember where I saw this referenced, but I picked it up secondhand as inspiration for the pirate game I'm perennially writing. Perhaps that my copy arrived soaked in cologne prejudiced me, but I couldn't quite enjoy this book. There are a few good hooks slipped in early on that come together satisfyingly around the middle, but the end feels rushed. The action sequences are nice and dynamic, with lots of nameless pirates and sailors getting tossed around. It's a very casually -ist book, though. Like, only the black characters are given accents, or have their skin color described. One of the villains is your basic fat == evil. There are only three women with speaking roles in the whole book: One's the heroine, who four different men are chasing to own for various reasons; one is described mostly in terms of her breasts; one is a ghost. 

Dyson's Book of Swords by Dyson Logos - This barely counts as a read, but it's a fun little picture book of 50+ fantasy swords with evocative, short descriptions. They're cute and I can imagine using this as a flipbook treasure table.

Eat the Weeds by Ben Charles Harris - This has been in my subconscious for a long time as a classic of the foraging hobby, which interests me more from a local knowledge and awareness perspective than survivalist. Turns out this is out of print though, so can't be that much of a classic. Finally reading through a second-hand copy though, I can safely say the author was a lunatic.

It took me a while to pin down the writing style, which reminded me so much of modern right-wing articles for some reason. I think it's the tone someone who is convinced of their own correctness and intelligence they've never listened to feedback or actually tried to improve, so it just comes out as stilted and pompous. The usefulness of the material itself was hindered by this not being a field guide in the least, and assuming you already know what kind of plant you're looking to possibly eat. Or, as he suggests, bringing samples to local experts who will certainly be happy to take time out of their day to identify yet another mallow for you or such. Then the uses are almost all one of three:

• Substitute it for another Vegetable. There was a weird assumption about a baseline set of vegetables that you could sub in foraged stuff for. As in, the foraged plants were never discussed as first-class produce on their own, just something you could have instead of Spinach or Asparagus. Also, he capitalizes all the plant names like that and it weirds me out.
• Make a tea. Probably as a substitute for Coffee or Black Tea (again with the uppercase), which contains the harmful Caffeine (also a good smattering of proper nouns for no reason). Cold teas are to be avoided (this is also a health book from the 50's), and warm teas are to be drunk like eight times a day, and slowly swished in the mouth to mix them with spit before swallowing (what).

Add it to a soup. Inspired.

Also he consistently referred to Native Americans both in the past tense and in the possessive which, yikes.

The Walking Dead Vol.1-9 by Robert Kirkman and friends - I've had the early volumes of this on a shelf since they came out, but stopped keeping up with it around volume 13 or something. But I was  walking the dog and happened to find volumes 15-21 in a little free library. Then I noticed I had loaned out volumes 1 & 2 sometime in the past. Anyway, so I picked up the first two again and the two in the gap to fill in the collection because at this point why not.

This proved to be a good move because I really screwed up my back in May and had to lie on the floor for a long time and do not particularly challenging things. Like rereading comics. I've also seen the first few seasons of the show, so probably the most interesting thing about revisiting the comics was seeing where I could remember deviations between them, or watching how some events got reused in different places. I don't love the franchise, but it's entertaining enough. There's more torture put in front of the veil than I think is necessary, but I guess that was one of its selling points. The treatment of the group "dealing with" the cannibals is effective without showing the specifics, for example.

Books Completed in April 2022

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett - The funniest story at the intersection of nationalism and gender politics for my dollar. Been years since I read this first, but it felt relevant to the times so picked it up again. I do like to come back to a Discworld book after a few years - there's always some little bit I don't remember that gives me a chuckle, and bits and footnotes I'm glad to see again (“A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman”). My mom read this too a few years ago and was impressed by how well he wrote women characters. Jackrum remains a beast.

Imagined Communities by Benedict Anderson - This one took me since December to get through in fits and starts, but by golly I did it. I am not schooled in the social sciences at all, and this book definitely assumes some level of familiarity I didn't have. However, I still found it interesting to sort of let it wash over me, and I think I agree with the shape of the thesis and I can see it. Getting my hands around the concepts of nationalism seems important right now (see above) - I don't recognize much of it in myself, or really any adherence to a group, but it's clearly shaping my country and the world right now.

One thing that frustrated me here was early on Anderson comments about how most readers are monoglots, and then dwells on this at length when discussing the impact of a polyglot bureaucratic class among the colonies. Then, despite that, he doesn't provide translations of multiple quotes, in multiple languages. Sorry I don't speak French and Latin, Ben. Also the structure of the footnotes was baffling. Some were mere references, some were whole separate little essays, some wandered off into abject tangents. It would have been clearer to read if you didn't have to constantly shift attention between the main text and a four-paragraph aside.

Captain America, the Classic Years vol. 2 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby - I've read this volume a few times in the past couple decades, but pulled it off the comics shelf for no discernable reason. Maybe I wanted to see how it felt in the current political climate? Not sure I have that level of self-awareness.

Anyway, as long as I remember it was written for kids and just accept that the military camp is walking distance from both a foggy moor and a mobster-riddled city, it's fun in a flying fists kind of way. At the same time, knowing it was aimed at kids makes the propaganda aspects stick out all the more. The art, though pioneering, also sometimes borders on outsider art. Like, what are these faces:

Go get 'em, Cap.

A normal dog, or Jack Kirby predicts The Thing?

I'm sure others have written at length and with skill as to the pervasive racism in these comics, as well. It's worth calling out. You have a guy punching Nazis, which we can all get behind, but also saying stuff like "here come some Chinamen and they're not waving laundry tickets!". There's a whole story about a white artist driven to murder because he loses his hand and gets a "horrible black claw" grafted on to replace it. Yikes.

Boundless vol. 1 by Boston Comics Collective - Happened on this at our neighborhood yard sale. A fun little collection of comics on a nice variety of scientific topics. The entries about the Morris Worm and the nonlinear nature of research and discovery were my favorites.

The Drunken Botanist by Amy Stewart - Another one of those books you're probably not supposed to read cover-to-cover but oh well. An interesting overview of how various plants are used in brewing and distilling, and as flavors and tinctures. I learned a lot about agave in particular. The treatment of "Old World"/"New World" in terms of "explorers" "discovering" ingredients was uncomfortable at times. Learning about the global voyage Aquavit goes on may have inspired a D&D adventure, escorting some semi-secret cargo along a semi-secret route and bringing it back home.  

Pictures and Stories from Forgotten Children's Books by Arnold Arnold - Woodcuts are always fun, but on the whole perhaps there's a reason most of these stories were forgotten. The longest recounted here is a version of Jack the Giant Killer, where the supposed trickster hero slaughters a dozen giants with the most basic of "tricks". Other than that it's mostly alphabets, cautionary tales, and gender essentialism. Arnold Arnold seems like an interesting guy though - he did pick that name rather than being born with it, and is apparently the person who created the Parker Brothers spiral logo. So that's neat.

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse - The sequel to Trail of Lightning, which I read a couple years ago when it came out. The first chapter gets things going immediately, introducing a new character and thrusting a death flag through the neck of one of the characters from the previous story. On the whole I liked it, but it's the second second-in-a-series book I've read this year and maybe that made all the worldbuilding hits fall a little too heavily at times. The escape from the auction sequence was my favorite.

 

Books Completed in March 2022

 

Rackham Vale by Brian Saliba & Craig Schaffer - This is a fun little RPG sandbox based on the art of Arthur Rackham. Now I love me a fiction built on reinterpreting a small body of work over and over again so this tickled an itch I once tried to scratch myself by running a whole D&D campaign based on Blood Mountain. The layout and editing are impressive (but not perfect) for a small project and the quality is nice for print-on-demand. I only wish there was a map included for the Alchemist's Tower - it's described as a "general adventure site" the DM can drop anything into, but many actors and factions have specific bits mentioned as being tied back to it, and it also describes some specific contents. The map of faction relationships is a useful tool I'm hoping to see more sandboxes take advantage of.

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey - "Are you a coward or are you a Librarian?" asks the cover of this novelette. It's a sometime-in-the-future believable US of America situation where an approved job for single, upstanding women is to travel the land distributing Approved Materials. Of course there's more going on and I... think I read a romance novel? It was fun, and Gailey's debut.

The Diary of a Napoleonic Foot Soldier by Jakob Walter - Pulled this one off my wife's shelf of college history books. Anytime anyone starts talking about war in a glorious fashion you should be allowed to slap them with a copy of this book. The suffering described in here in such straightforward, work-a-day terms is horrifying. I cried a bit for a man one-hundred-fifty-years dead when he described finding some peas in a kettle, then having them ruined when a fellow soldier's added fat turns out to be soap. There's a weird passage where they're cured of "the fever" by a travelling stranger who writes a spell on scrolls for them to eat. This edition has a collection of six letters sent from the frontlines that never made it home: Soldiers begging their families to gather up some money so they can buy shirts or some bread, mostly. Reading this made me appreciate the third amendment in a new way. 

How to Take Over the World by Ryan North - The spiritual successor to How to Invent Everything, this is another broad popular science book that explores some of the boundaries of what science is capable of right now. The lens it uses is teaching you to become a supervillain, something North can claim expertise in as an established comics writer. My favorite takeaway was that there's a possibility in the far future that our then red giant sun could be close enough to Titan to turn it into an Earth-like environment, which could allow for a second run of evolution within our own solar system. The comic illustrations by Carly Monardo really help carry the points home.

Finna by Nino Cipri - A wild novelette about the (interdimensional) horrors of capitalism. "Oh yeah we used to have a team that would go into the planar rifts to retrieve lost shoppers, but we downsized them in the 90's. Now it's up to the least-senior team members. You get some gift cards!" And of course the two that have to go on this journey recently broke up a stormy relationship. On the way the author has a solid exploration of dealing with depression and anxiety and gender identity. Plus swordfights and retail zombies and carnivorous chairs.

Charlotte's Web by E. B. White - Grabbed this out of a little free library while walking the dog. E. B. White liked to make lists apparently. He made a list of the things Wilbur the pig ate, things at the farm's dump, types of cars parked at the county fair, things a rat might eat at said fair... there were others. It's caused me to make a list of lists. What a weird and melancholy book though. Reading it now, the part at the fair where they announce a special prize for Wilbur the pig and everyone's just like "Guess he's magic, huh?" and everyone claps and the dad gets $25 stands out as how I sort of imagining the adult world would work when I was a little kid.

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - It takes a special kind of cheek to use "Well, jail for mother" as dialog in your novel but Muir pulls it off. I admit I did have to check online a bit to see what was going on here. This novel is intentionally confusing but that can be hard to make sure of if you haven't read the first one in a few years. Describing events contrary to what happened in the first of the series, and doing it all in second person, is a gamble to convey Harrow's fractured mental and emotional state to the reader, but sticking through it I do think it all (mostly) comes together in the third act and pays off. There was a lot of setup in here for the next couple books and now I feel like I'm beholden to them. (Also, "none pizza, left beef" and Homestar references sprinkled in.) 

Blueberry Hill Cookbook by Elsie Masterson - I didn't read this cover-to-cover, but I did read the preface, each section introduction, and skimmed all the recipes. What was mostly interesting here was this physical copy was my grandmother's, so it's got little annotations throughout, mostly "good!" or "very good!". Also it's full of pressed four-leaf clovers - I'm not sure if those were hers or my mom's. The book itself has an assertive tone, with a repeated sentiment of "if you can't get these ingredients exactly, don't bother." For 1959 the curry recipe is downright assertive with two whole tablespoons of curry powder (preferably imported).

Books Completed in February 2022

 Am I doing this every month now?

unnovations from zeppotron.com - This is a print version of a catalog of fake items from their website back in the 2000s sometime. Popped into my head and, though I wasn't able to find a decent archive, I was able to pick up this print copy on the cheap. This is a perfect example of the kind of humor I often find hilarious and leaves my wife stone-faced cold. Absolute nonsense presented as staid fact. Products include "The pocket hand-expansion bee that helps you appease Chad Michaels, woodland god", "Could this be the world's most dramatically effective baker-infuriating hat?", "Flying onion-and-sock squadron keeps mewling kids out of your hair for a second", and "The mouthless stumbling boy creature that shakes illegal intruders to the very core". Dumb.

The Book of Imaginary Beings by Jorge Luis Borges - I have a feeling this was not meant to be read cover-to-cover, but I've been reading RPG bestiaries that way for so long it felt natural. And there is a lot in here that could be harvested for a game. Humans made of shifting patterns of heat, and the conceptual ancestor to the salamander, the pyrausta. There's more than a dash of orientalism in here--alongside including Biblical and Talmudic creatures it makes for a surreal read, but I guess that's Borges.

The Secret History by Procopius - The Bright Ages, which I read last month, basically dedicates a chapter to this ancient screed. I had started in on it a bit last year but came back after reading that, so I have to admit to some prejudice in my read. The hate-boner for Theodora is on display. I was struck by how many of Justinian's described flaws reminded me of our 45th president--some incompetencies are consistent across the centuries it would seem. The mention of the monstrous whale Porphyrius was a surprise that I am stealing for a game.

Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi - This was a hell of a way to kick off Black History Month. Not sure what to say here, or if it's my place to say anything at all or just hush and read the thing. I guess I'll say the parts that are speculative are chillingly believable.

Food (The Nib #11) - A quarterly comics compilation from thenib.com which I get from subscribing. My favorite entries in this installment were about the history of yams, and about feeding migratory vultures in Thailand. The longer form entries didn't click for me for some reason as much as the ones in previous issues had, though.

The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin - Among other things, this is a paen to New York City. A lot of that was lost on me--I've only been once, and the things that were described as making it wonderful here didn't connect for me. That said, all the other things this story is connected like a brick, and I'm looking forward to the next two books. Writing horror and writing horror movie imagery are different beasts, and the latter usually falls flat when attempted, but she makes it dance (writhe)? The chapters where one of the characters is facing down both otherworldly horrors and a real-world doxing simultaneously really stuck out to me.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells - This novelette confronts a surprising number of questions about free will and the borders of humanity for a story whose protagonist is named "Murderbot". You'd expect more action sequences, but the ones here are crisp and meaningful. The speculative nature of a future dominated by lowest bidders is perhaps too easy to believe right now.

Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson - Spoilers for a 130-year-old book coming up. One thing that popular culture has turned around in this story over the decades is having Hyde be hulking and Jekyll being a meek little man. In the original, Jekyll is a robust man, and Hyde is smaller and wizened, which the doctor speculates might be due to his evil nature not having been exercised much in his life so far. The story leans on a trope I don't think you see much these days, but still has legs--a scientist compounds some incredible formula, but one of the ingredients in the original batch is impure in a way they cannot rediscover. Speaking of tropes, you don't get many people dying of shock over the course of several weeks these days.

The Illithiad by Bruce R. Cordell - I discovered this while cleaning the basement, having thought it lost or sold years ago. It's a fun little splatbook from AD&D 2e all about mind flayers. I wonder how some of it would actually be used at the table, but it does have possibly the creepiest psychic power ever published for D&D: "Crisis of Breath", which shuts down the target's automatic breathing, forcing them to focus on it, to the point of foregoing sleep. The formatting is very weird, with the font just changing to a narrow sans-serif for a few sentences seemingly at random, then switching back. Not sure if it was a conscious decision or they just rushed it to the printer.

Lego Dungeon: Oblivion's Kite

The impetus for this was a few handfuls of Lego spilling from a broken bag, then deciding to see if I could use them all in a single structure. Not to scale, more of a sensory homunculus, but for adventure instead of touch.

Graphic design is my passion.

Astral barge. Would crumple in reality.

It is primarily a cargo ship but supplements its means by transporting prisoners, gathering interesting materials from far-flung corners of the multiverse, and light opportunistic piracy.

The Animus Drive

Contains two pocket dimensions, one with an angel (Xuxara) and one with a devil (Araxux). They can see each other but can't cross the boundary. Their shared hate is captured by the enclosure and provides power and thrust through a realm of thought.

There is a maintenance shaft that leads into each dimension from outside. Being here bathes anyone in a wash of leaking conflicting energy. It's radiation poisoning that is also judging you.

These beings now desire only destruction. If one is freed, it will immediately seek to ravage Oblivion's Kite and its crew. The one still locked away will go apoplectic though, causing the ship to accelerate wildly for a while. If both are freed, they will immediately engage each other in a duel of annihilation long-delayed.

Solipsistic Baffle

The primal conflict in the Animus Drive is deflected by a long arm carved with backwards-facing runes and spells and rituals of nothingness. This entire structures is devoted to negating the presence of the drive, other than channeling a modicum of its power towards the ship's shields and life support.

Exposed to the astral winds. There is no atmosphere or gravity here. Lined with handholds and spars for when repairs are absolutely needed.

Can drop paradoxes in its wake. Basically drops a wall of force at the direction of the helm each turn.

Hull

The bulk of the Kite, but mostly dedicated to tight corridors and storage. There is a large hatched airlock on each side with a dozen or so leather atmosphere suits at the ready should the crew need to venture outside the hull for repairs.

The hull's exterior is studded with crimson nodes that draw on the vast reserves of the animus battery to emit a force field. These fields overlap like scales, protecting the Kite from astral winds and attackers. If manned by a crew member, the nodes can also release a magic missile spell every round, though doing so redirects the power such that they do not project a shield that round.

Humped up above the quarters are the storerooms. Years' worth of foodstuff, water, salt, cloth, wire. Some rooms haven't been visited in years. These may contain stranger things, or the haunt of a lost crewmate or stowaway.

Slung below the quarters is the battery. Thousands and thousands of glazed red clay jars each containing a tiny fragment of Xuxara & Araxux's animosity. All wired up and into the hull of the Kite with a mesh of fine silver wire, supplying power throughout. A huge silver cord runs in from the Solipsistic Baffle and branches, branches, branches to feed the battery pots.

If an amicus pot is disconnected, it maintains its charge. If it breaks, it explodes like a small bomb. Opening the lid and huffing the hate inside charges you up like a berserker for a bit.

Checkpoint

Isolates the more sensitive portions of the Kite from the day-to-day of the crew, guests, and, tacitly, the Obliterati. Guarded by Warden Mongdubak and their spiders. 

There is a maintenance crawlspace accessible from the exterior of the baffle, which leads to a small chamber beyond the checkpoint. Most of the crew know about this space, and feel slightly smug about Mongdubak's posturing for it, though it is seldom used because of the dangers its exterior access incur.

Iron Brig

Oblivion's Kite makes some of its way by ferrying troublesome prisoners, hostages, and scions between realms. These unfortunates spend their transit in the Iron Brig.

This is an iron cube, 30 feet on a side outside, 20 feet inside, and laced with silver wire that channels animus energy to be variably magnetic. The magnetism is controlled either by a ring worn by the warden, or from the helm. Prisoners are fitted with heavy iron bracers, anklets, and gorget. The magnetism can be disabled for the compliant, or ratcheted up to hold even the strongest locked against the floor and wall.

The Iron Brig can also be detached from the Kite by a hidden control on the helm. 

The Vivarium

A green hill with a sweeping view. It's mostly extremely skilled horticulture, but there's a smidgen of dimensional magic at play here.

The centerpiece of the vivarium is the colossal scion tree that holds grafts from a thousand worlds. If you need a rare or supposedly extinct fruit or leaf, there is a good chance a small number can be found here. However it's also extremely likely to trigger latent and unknown allergies in anyone who approaches it.

Astral Wing

A delicate blue structure that sticks out from the bulk of the hull's protective force scales.

The Forageurs trail the fingers of a gauntlet-like artifice through astral winds, sweeping them into glass vials for analysis and preservation. These winds carry memories and emotions--the Forageurs are mostly academics, but help fund the Kite's operations selling some choice experiences to discerning clients.

The massive sensor array trailing off from above helps orient the helm. If it is damaged or tampered with, piloting the Kite becomes more difficult. The Forageurs tend to tweak the data it sends to try and lead the ship to unexplored realms.

Helm

Control array takes the uninitiated some challenging Intelligence checks to figure out and control, though the captain and first mate are extremely familiar with it, and any crew member could try in a pinch. The Kite navigates relative to astral color pools, and has a huge store of maps and charts it can pull up in a crystalline display.

If the Kite is in distress the hull's manifold magic missile nodes can't address, the helm can be brought to bear. A cannon looses a stream of pure vitriol, basically blasting out a disintegrate spell every other round.

Cathedral of Oblivion

The vacuous throne is occupied by Their Absence as they travel the realms spreading the nihilistic gospel of the Obliterati. Unknown by the crew, the throne can activate a stasis field and detach itself from the main of the Kite, allowing Their Absence an escape should the ship find itself seriously endangered.

From the observation deck Their Absence preaches against a backdrop of majestic astral desolation, sealed in a dome of force.

The Obliterati are tolerated on the ship because they have captured and now maintain the spiritual energies in the Amicus Drive. Their whisper network also generally leads the Kite to the Iron Brig's next occupant.

Cargo Bay

The most mundane method of providing for the Kite, though any cargo deemed fit to be shipped across the astral plane likely makes "mundane" seem extremely relative. Also the site of the largest bay doors.

Factions

The Crew

A hundred or so of all species. 

Control: Hull, cargo, helm, baffle, crawlspace

Ideals: Efficiency, drunkenness.

Captain Keloid: A leather golem made of the hides of a dozen previous first mates and stuffed with shards of broken animus pots. Wears a bandoleer of animus pots. Cares only for the survival of Oblivion's Kite. And knitting.

First Mate Red: Human, seeks luxury in all things. The crew finds them rather aloof and prim, but cannot deny their sense for finding rich marks and unerring fairness in dividing up spoils or profits.

Bosun Grigoriun: Arithmomanic gnome. The only one who knows the contents of every room, crate, and sack in the hold, and the charge of every amicus pot. 

The Obliterati

A dozen or so, all of a nameless race that settled the astral plane millennia ago. They are gangly bipeds with semi-translucent azure skin, solid black eyes, nails, and teeth. They can redirect their nerve impulses to control their sense of pain and generate electrical shocks.

Control: Cathedral, drive, brig

Ideals: Nihilism, grandeur.

Their Absence: The nameless leader. Favors a huge translucent cloak in which float oily rainbow images of astral winds.

Warden Mongdubak: Canny ranger whose spider allies hide in numerous small alcoves of the checkpoint to help poison or restrain any who would attempt to pass the checkpoint unapproved.

The Forageurs

As diverse as the crew. Dedicated to exploring and collecting samples from across the multiverse, gathering knowledge for knowledge's sake.

Control: Scoop, vivarium, checkpoint

Ideals: Exploration, preservation

Tender Small: Ancient halfling horticulturist who has dedicated their life to the scion tree. Knows where each graft came from, its health and specific needs. Always eager for new branches and fruits.

oon'Bwee b'b'Beh: The enigmatic master of the astral wing's gauntlet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ6qw1nh0tA 

12 Greenwater Premade Characters

I have been noodling on an adventure-in-a-box with simple premade 5e characters for a while. It would be based on my first dungeon map from, oh, thirtyish years ago.

Here they are as they stand, based on some combination of official 5e sidekicks, the Unearthed Arcana approach, and whatever I felt like. Four warriors, four experts, and four casters, each ready to face a challenge in the temple at the edge of their town. The hope is that everyone in an online group would be able to pick a column out of this spreadsheet in a minute or two, then the DM hides the others, and we're off.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1inS0S0eb8PCRIUcjfzguGGgbihuexiRSMkO5VKGQnv4/

These use the alternate rules from the DMG where there are no individual skills, just ability checks. It's pretty clear except for expertise. Here expert characters get to double their proficiency modifier for one ability's checks.

Casters, of course, require a little more consideration. They can choose between ritual casting and armored casting. Here are their spells and magic rules boiled down to a single page each. The grandparent is the oddest of the bunch, for sure.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1OcNjERLh75Q_YB0gYP7dLC9eiKxJkE2y 

Some spells and effects in this adventure are different from published rules. Mainly, healing via second wind, potions, or magic restores 2d4+2 HP. That's just to keep things simple in the mind of new players. 

Considering how to manage leveling up in the course of the adventure, if at all.